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What I Learned by Getting to Know a Syrian Refugee Family

10/8/2019

1 Comment

 
By Francis Pauc

I don’t remember exactly when I first met with the Syrian refugee family. I know that it was over two years ago. I hooked up with them through a local Muslim community group called Ma’ruf. I told the people at Ma’ruf that I wanted to tutor some immigrant children. Ma’ruf gave me contact information for the Syrians. I drove to their house, which was near the corner of Cesar Chavez and Greenfield on Milwaukee’s southside. I rang their doorbell. I waited and waited. Then the mother, A’isha, opened the door and gave me a look that said, “Who the hell are you?”. It was not an auspicious start to our relationship.

I need to backtrack a bit. At this point, an obvious question for most people would be, “Why did you decide to go with these Syrian refugees?”

Honestly, I’m not sure.

Some questions do not lend themselves to simple answers. Did I connect with the Syrians because I studied Arabic for four years at West Point? Did I do it because I spent three years overseas, courtesy of the U.S. Army, and I know how it feels to be stranger in a strange land? Did I feel a certain kinship with the Syrians because my own wife is an immigrant to the United States? There are many possible reasons for my decision, and some of them are not completely rational. I listened to my heart and followed its advice in the matter.

After two years with this family, what have I learned?

First, I have learned that these people are courageous. I don’t know all their story. I don’t need to know it all. I am amazed that A’isha and her husband, Turki, managed to get themselves and their eleven children from Syria to America. That shows enormous determination and fortitude. I have often wondered if I would have the strength to bring my family halfway across the world to start a new life. I doubt that I could do that.

Second, I have learned that the members of the Syrian family are just like the members of my family. It’s true that they follow a different religion and that they often speak a different language. Those things are superfluous. At the core, they are just like me, and just like you. They are trying to do the best they can in a strange and stressful environment. The parents love their kids, and the children love the parents in return. These people are human beings, and they deserve to be treated with respect.
Finally, this family is well on its way to becoming American. The parents will always struggle with their past. They will always have one foot in the Old Country. That is the tragedy and sorrow of the immigrant. However, the children will be all right. They will be strong and dynamic participants in the story of the United States. I know this. I can feel it when I am with these kids. They are going to make it. All of them.

This family from Syria is the kind of family that our country desperately needs. They will give more to the United States than they will ever receive from it. There are many other refugee families waiting to enter our country. We need to welcome these people with open arms.  
President Trump as suggested that the U.S. allow zero refugees to come into this country in 2020. I cannot understand that. That proposed policy is beyond my comprehension. We would be rejecting some of the best people in the world.

We would be rejecting our future.


1 Comment
Debbie Kabitzke
10/12/2019 06:51:32 am

Thank you for sharing. Hopefully the more people hear individual stories that can help them to relate as parents and families rather than painting a whole group with a wide brush, they will see the inhumanity of our current situation.

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